Day 10 – A Journey of My Spiritual Experiences (Listen while you read)
It was during the time that I was posting on the forum that the shock was delivered.
As I have mentioned, I had an extremely close and affectionate relationship with Soul Friend that had lasted for over a decade. Entering the forum with this relationship by my side, so to speak, gave me enormous strength of conviction to announce myself as a medium. However, during the experience The Collective Consciousness announced their presence and made me aware that Soul Friend had been a personality that they had used to give me the experience that many have today.
There are many mediums who, like me, have and continue to experience a connection with a particular guide or guides. In order for me to appreciate this scenario I was given a similar experience.
This has happened in a variety of arenas in my life; i.e., having experiences in order that I appreciate those being had by others. Some of these experiences have been rather interesting. I hope to write about them as I go forward. I am being inspired to write about one now.
In order that I understand the concept of fear due to a medical problem, The C.C. gave me the experience of M.S. (multiple sclerosis). It was during my first year of marriage to Graham during 1995. Just after Know Thyself had been written, and a move further inland to the Southern Highlands, I began to lose feeling in my legs. I was facilitating meditation/circles during this time, leading the Spiritualist Church, and counselling. During these moments I was given the use of my legs in order to perform whatever was necessary. When these functions were fulfilled, however, I would return to the numbness and incapacitation.
To ensure that I understood the depth of the grief, pain, sorrow, sadness, etc., of those suffering this, and other such conditions, I was given to understand that I would be in a wheelchair within 3 years and would die shortly thereafter. This, as I understood later, was an absolute necessity in order that I truly appreciate such a disorder and the incredible depth of the emotions involved.
During this period, which lasted 6 months, I was bedridden most of the time. I had numbness in my legs and sometimes in my hips, arms, hands, and whole body at times. It was a most debilitating physical experience and a period of such heart breaking mental and emotional seesawing between being strong for those around me, and breaking down within myself to depths of great sorrow. There were also moments of enormous brain fog. I would go into my kitchen and not know where the dinner plates were stored, or which cupboard held the salt and pepper. This was a very scary thing to experience; one moment having complete appreciation of one’s physical surroundings only to feel like a stranger in a strange house the next.
I had completely accepted that I was to die within a few short years, and told everyone within my close circle. This they too accepted, the evidence was undeniable; I was growing weaker as each day went by.
I meditated a lot during this period of time; it helped to keep me calm. During one meditation Sai Baba’s boys spoke to me saying that I was to visit him. I was rather annoyed by their booming voices invading my peace with what I perceived to be their ‘bossy’ tones. They said that I could be healed if I travelled to see God in his ashram. I told them that I was quite prepared to die, thank you very much.
This was not my first introduction to Sai Baba. During those years which my daughter and I shared together in the little unit, Sai Baba had materialised in the lounge room. He didn’t speak. I told him, telepathically, that Lord Jesus was my master to which he smiled, bowed and dematerialised. Now, some few years later, here were his boys speaking to me in my meditation. I told them that I would consider their invitation, and left it at that.
However, in my next meditation Sai Baba himself appeared (he did not materialise this time). He took me on what I called in those days, a spirit journey. One moment I was in my home; the next I was in India being shown his elephants, hospital, ashram and such. I liked him almost instantly. His personality I found to be so cheeky; he made me feel so happy to be in his presence. His demeanour was refreshingly modest and humble, yet with a sparkle I couldn’t resist.
He visited with me like this for a few weeks and I planned the trip to India.
Carolyn Page – ABC of Spirit Talk