Episode 10 – Freedom From Fear and Backwards Aging

We spoke of backwards aging, dearest. Perhaps there is a need to expand on this, and similar topics. Yes?

Yes, for those unfamiliar with our past writings, perhaps yes, there is the need to expand this aspect.

Very well, dearest; on we go.

Backwards aging, or the many benefits of ridding one’s self of fear.

Indeed, dearest, as you have advised, backwards aging began for you during 2016. Yes?

Yes, that is right. I had been ill during late 2013 until the end of 2015. During this time I had lost a lot of fitness, having had the need to learn to walk again.

You lost the ability to walk, dearest?

Yes, that is right. The neurologist I attended believed I would never receive a definitive diagnosis of the illness I suffered. He had seen many cases such as mine and believed it was probably due to a viral infection causing the balance receptors throughout my body to go awry. The effect was they lacked synchronisation. This meant I had no idea how to manage the fine motor skills needed for walking.

Indeed, dearest, this was a testing time. Was it not?

Yes, it was a testing time indeed. I spent approximately eight months in bed gradually losing all balance. Even whilst lying down I didn’t have the ability to remain physically balanced. It was quite overwhelming.

You had been a dancer, dearest?

Yes, Keith and I had been a competition ballroom couple for some time. Naturally, this illness put an end to not only our social life, but, of course, our dancing.

And how long were you incapable of dancing, dearest?

About mid 2014, after many emergency trips to the hospital….

Emergency trips to the hospital, dearest?

Yes, that is right. During this period my blood pressure would zoom up to very high readings. I needed medical attention to get it down. On one occasion I was admitted into hospital. On the other occasions I would remain in the emergency room until the pressure came down to an acceptable reading.

This must have been somewhat exhausting, dearest?

Yes, it was exhausting. However, as I said it was about mid 2014 when the neurologist’s tests proved I wasn’t suffering life threatening conditions. However, the neurologist advised I would need to see a physio therapist and learn, once again, to walk.

And you did this, dearest?

Yes, I was given instruction and proceeded to do the exercises for the next eighteen months.

You suffered from depression, dearest?

I did, yes.

Can you elucidate?

Having been a comp dancer with a rather high fitness level it came as a harsh blow to find myself unable to dance.  Not only could I not dance, I could not do almost anything. The house cleaning was beyond me; I couldn’t stand for any length of time so cooking was out of the question. I became quite exhausted expending the slightest effort. I used to go walking quite often around the neighbourhood, which I loved, so that was then not possible. In short, my world came crashing down. For all intent and purpose my life shrunk into the size of my bedroom for many months. I fought the constant negatives my mind engaged in. It was a battle that no words could do justice. I felt a burden upon my life partner, Keith. He had taken on the household chores, the washing, the cooking and cleaning. I felt he would be better off without me.

A sad place to be, dearest?

Yes, the negatives were horrendous. However, I fought with everything I could. I was determined that I would regain my mental stability and the ability, at least, to walk.

And how long did this take, dearest.

As I mentioned, I did the exercises the physio gave me to do. One bright spot was she, the physio, often remarked that I did so much better than the average individual she assisted. She put this down to the dancing; remarking that I understood how my body should work even if I couldn’t get it to do what it ought. Many of the exercises she related to the dance. As I began to improve I found that I could, very slowly, utilise some dance figures; my body remembered these movements and they assisted me greatly.

You got back to dancing, dearest?

Yes, it was March 2016 that we, Keith and I, attended a dance social.

And you enjoyed it, dearest?

Indeed we did, yes. We found it hard remembering the dances; however, it was lovely to be back on the dance floor.

And it was then that you began to see the backwards aging?

At first I thought the wonderful changes occurring were due to being on the road to recovery. I’d looked quite old and drawn during the illness. The changes, I thought, were due to my better health.

And were they, dearest, due to your better health?

I certainly told myself that. However, the changes continued. My whole demeanour continued to improve. At first I found my facial skin becoming more taut. I put this down to the greater fitness level I was achieving. I could, though, only do this mental debating for so long. It became more and more obvious that there was more going on than just recovery from illness. I was getting younger.

Indeed you were, dearest. Indeed you were. We offered the advice of backwards aging during 2016. Did we not?

Yes, you did. You also asked me to video myself on a monthly basis throughout 2017, which I did.

And what did you discover?

I couldn’t help but see the reality. I was backwards aging.

And why were you backwards aging, dearest?

You advised that as a reward for the work I’d done upon myself in overcoming the mind of man, or freeing myself from fear, I would be given the reward of backwards aging.

And what is backwards aging, dearest?

The experience I have had and continue to have is a never ending ability to remain strong of body and mind. I believe the greatest aspect of backwards aging lies in the ability I have, as a seventy one year old to be able to perform all the tasks I did many years past.

Can you give some examples?

We have trees in our backyard that need to be pruned yearly. Not only can I prune the trees, I can pick up the pruned branches and carry and stack them in our mulching area. This may seem like an incidental thing to do. However, the point I would like to make is that I am stronger today than I was last year. Last year I was stronger than the previous year, and so on.

Today I vacuumed throughout the house. Even before the illness I could not vacuum the entire house in one go; needing to attack this job piece meal, as it were. After vacuuming I made dinner, cleaned the kitchen, jumped for half an hour on my mini tramp whilst watching the news. Suffice to say I continue to have an expanding amount of energy and strength. Even Keith is surprised. He knows that I am stronger and more able than a decade past.

And we know this too, dearest.

In summary, we would like your example to shine, dearest. The backwards aging that you have, and continue to experience, will be the lighthouse that others will herald as a beacon. The first, dearest, as we have often advised.

Many Blessings, Dear Hearts. Many Blessings to All

© 2021 Carolyn Page – ABC of Spirit Talk