Ermilia’s Picture it & write (Sunday 15 July 2012)
Once again here is my offering to ‘Picture It & Write’ hosted by Ermilia (Ermisenda and Elizabeth) who invite others to join them by writing a fictional story or poem, to accompany an image presented on their blog.
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Hosted by Ermilia’s blog
Hell; you could tell she was trouble.
One look at her and my demons started playing havoc with me. Took me back to the days when I had something to give. Yeah; took me back to the days when I had some ‘manhood’.
Someone like this little beauty took that away; the bitch.
Yeah; thought I could handle her; thought I was man enough.
Hell; I was just another schmuck in her hands. She twisted me up so bad; hell, it was grand, the bitch.
Yeah sure: I could have walked away.
Yeah sure: I could have told her where to stick her flaming red lips and feminine ways.
Yeah sure: I could have done a million other things but; it’s too late now. She took every little piece of me and blew me out like smoke. That she did.
She blew me out like smoke and left me in a heap; that bitch.
Yeah sure: I know I was a fool. Yeah sure: Cut me up real good.
Nothin’ left; I’m all done in; bitch.
Carolyn Page
ABC of Spirit Talk with Carolyn Page 
Really amazing Carolyn! Love it!!
Hugs 🙂
Hey; just call me Ned…!
haha; thanks Shalvika 🙂
You haven’t done one this week?
I will! I have thought about what I wanna do, I’ll get to it tonight I think 🙂
Have fun… 🙂
CAROLYN!!! This is some raw writing coming from you. Not your regular musing about sweet animals, flowers and such. It really shows your versatility. Excellent writing. I enjoyed reading this.
Thanks Kim… ! 🙂
My voice went an octave lower and it felt goooooooddddd…. hahaha..
Oh yeah man; I can get just as low down dirty as anybody… !!
Chuck, spew, cough cough….. 🙂
What’s writing if you can’t have fun?
Though Kim, you should have seen me squirming as I hit the ‘Publish’ button… 🙂
I love it. Who knew you had such edge in you, my talented friend!
Hey Resa…. 🙂
I dipped into my coffers and found this guy lurkin’ around in there… Thought I’d let him out. Poor guy; seems he’s been burnt..! 🙂
Wow! Loved this. My first thought was “No audio? Darn.” But the ugliness in the character’s voice was so palpable and present that it was clear as a bell. A very striking short piece.
Thank You…. 😉
I surprised myself with this one…. Thanks for the great comment –
‘palpable and present’…. Yep; he sure sounded burnt..!
Fantastic, Carolyn. I love the raw gutsy edge this story had. You could really tell that the character was bitter and hateful. It sounded authentic too. Thanks for contributing this week to Picture it & write!
– Ermisenda
As I mentioned in my comment on your blog – I’m so enjoying this opportunity to write from the ‘prompts’ on offer on your blog… It’s showing me an aspect of myself that I didn’t know was there! 😉 More than just a love of writing – more a deep satisfaction as I’m doing it! Thanks again. &
Thank you for your kind words too… I’m so glad that you enjoyed it..!
Very raw and so full of anger. It’s different from what I’ve seen of your writing so far but I really enjoyed the edge to it. There’s something about the way it’s written that makes me hear his voice in a rough, heavy smoker growl. Great work! 🙂
Wow; that may be partly your ability to portray characters (as is evident in your writing) along with the manner in which this piece was written – hearing his voice in a rough, heavy smoker growl…. He sure wasn’t a happy camper; that’s for sure… 🙂 Thanks Sam; I really enjoy your writing. 🙂
You are very welcome! He definitely wasn’t a happy camper and the voice worked well! 😀
I love the feel I get for this character through your first-person narrative. It’s really my favorite writing style and you’ve done a great job with it here.
Thanks Anne…. This was fun, and also a bit scary to do so I’m really happy to hear your comment… Thanks again…. 🙂
creative thinking – which I thought reflective of the stereotype generated in my mind by the image – nice one. I used to do something similar for the kids they would offer me 3 characters and I would have to generate a storyline on the spot utilising the 3 characters. Lots of fun and laughter.
Thanks Scott… What a great idea – 3 characters to make a story…. and on the spot. Not an easy thing to do I’m sure. I can imagine it could be hilarious… Good for the old brain cells… 🙂
Nicely expressed,wonderful post.Thank you Carolyn, for following my site.Wishing you success and happiness.Jalal Michael
Thank You…. The same sentiments to you… 🙂
Ouch. Nice story – from a man’s point of view, all the more skilful.
I believe I’ve met one or two like this fellow. They have been seriously burnt and carry the scars forever, it seems… makes them very bitter; can’t blame them really….
Thanks for the great comment livinginfairyland… According to this comment I can’t say that I believe that you live in fairy land…. this is a comment from a very grounded girl living in reality…. 😉
You are an amazing writer. Awesome. Nice expressed.
Cheers!
Thank You…. I enjoyed your latest writing too….
Thanks again for your visit…
Thanks for letting me camp out in your blog for a little while today. I had a great time and tried to leave my campsite as good as when I arrived. I’ll be back!
Thanks for your visit…! 😉
men are so helpless in hands of women who want to play with them. it reminds me of one of my favourite books, of human bondage, the way mildred played with him again and again, shamelessly, brazenly.
They can be; that’s for sure…
I’ve seen it a few times throughout my life. Men can be a little naive to that kind of woman. They want to feel desired (just as woman do, of course) and so can be easily deceived… Such is life Sharmishtha. The trick is not to stay in that down-hearted place but to get up and out into life again. Hopefully, a little more wise for the experience and with self deception lights aglow instead of dimmed. 😉
Whoa!
That does it–
I’m never gonna wear lipstick again… : )
I thought those luscious lips looked familiar…!?!
I should have known it was you out there flaunting yourself.
You have a lot to answer for; you, you, you, Jezebel…!
Hi Mark….. Kind of you to drop by….. 🙂