Day 8 – A Journey of My Spiritual Experiences (listen while you read)
It is a difficult thing to write when you know that many will openly disagree with you. I am to write about the brain, an instrument not capable of love; this is just an instrument that we utilise whilst in the flesh. Without guidance from the soul (or spirit; call it what you will) it will be without love; without kindness; without sincerity. In fact, it has been designed to cause tremendous harm, not only to ourselves but also to others.
This was a very difficult thing for me to come to terms with all those years ago. I had not openly looked at the difficulties that it had brought upon me in an open, honest and common sense fashion. Now, with hindsight, I am rather floored by my lack of ability to see what is now 100% apparent. I was totally controlled by the drama of life; whether controlled by myself or others, I was indeed totally controlled by the brain. I only have to look at the evidence of my writings to see that this is an absolute certainty.
And yet, here I am writing about a subject that I know will cause great consternation to some. This is unavoidable for, as I have been advised by The Collective Consciousness (my guidance) there are those who are programmed to agree with the writings, and there are those who will disagree. Those who agree will, in most cases, not publicly consent; however, those who are programmed to disagree will be quite vocal in their protestations. This I am prepared for and will take in my stride.
And so, on the one side I do not want to create drama, and on the other side of this shiny coin, what I am doing will create a drama for many; certainly a conundrum.
Graham and I stayed together for 8 years. During this time we always managed to stay connected in one way or another to spiritual healing, development classes and Spiritualist Churches. However, our relationship was doomed from the beginning; we didn’t love each other; it was a bond of similarities more than anything. We remain friends today, although I haven’t been able to contact him for a while. It has probably been about 2 years since we last spoke.
We parted in 2003. It was in this year that I met and fell in love with the man that I share my life with today. This relationship is the first in my life where I have willingly committed myself. It is such a pleasure to know the love of a man, and to return it openly and without reservations; he has my heart and I believe that I have his. It is very similar to the love that I felt with my daughter; I knew that she loved me and I was so appreciative and respectful of that love. It is such a privilege to be loved. It needs to be nurtured and protected and given a very high priority in life; there doesn’t seem to be anything that should be placed above it; at least, not in my life. Having lived for so many years without love makes having love such a tender thing, that to not view it as wondrous would be impossible for me.
It didn’t take long for me to realise that I needed to let this man know as much about me as possible and very quickly; after all, I wasn’t the average person in the street. Up until this time in my life I was speaking to spirit; meaning, I was giving evidence of life after death. However, this was about to change in a very dramatic way.
Usually, whenever I met someone and got to know them a little, I would generally be given information about their dearly departed to convey to them; however, this didn’t happen with Keith. I became quite confused over this and I remained confused for a number of months. During this time, and for the next couple of years, I began to lose interest in such things as communicating with spirit, development classes, circles, and going to the Spiritualist Church. I didn’t think too deeply about it; I thought that it was because I was just caught up in this exciting new adventure of a new relationship. However, during 2005 came a most upsetting event that caused me a fair amount of grief.
I was given the inspiration (a term I use for my communication with The Collective Consciousness) to join an on-line forum. This was to prove to be a very taxing time in my life. I didn’t know it, at the time; however, The Collective Consciousness had plans, plans that involved surprising me. They introduced new understandings that brought great consternation to those who participated.
The new insights spoke of such things that rocked the very core of their appreciations of spiritual understanding. This will also be the case today for many; however, I have agreed to play this role, and I cannot walk away from this work. I will speak more about this as I continue to write about myself, my life and my commitment to do as I have agreed to do; to bring the new understandings to the earth experience.
Carolyn Page – ABC of Spirit Talk